Grief

In grief it is often hard to do something tangible.  It is difficult because grief is the reality of a feeling.  Grief wreaks the body.  It seeps into the cracks.  It overcomes the strong and brings them to their knees to where the feeble are.  Grief it has a pattern, but can not be explained.

 

It is difficult to describe grief because it is different in every situation and circumstance.  It changes and morphs.  The response to grief varies.  Will this be the correct response for this person in this moment?  Or is better to wait?  Better to hold ones tongue?  Better to hug?  Or better to let be?

When presented with grief it is hard to know how to respond and it is hard to do something tangible.  Yet in the midst of tragedy there are tangible things that can be done.  Meals can be brought, clothes cleaned, houses swept, children looked after.  And though tragedy and grief are not mutually exclusive the way they are responded to looks so very different.

In grief I will meet you. 

In tragedy and suffering I can meet your needs.

Exhausted

I am sorry that I haven’t written much these days. So much is happening, and at such a fast pace. I have been trying to live in the moment. It’s been hard. I’m tired. Tired from the stress of finals and studying, tired from staying up to late enjoying the people here and tired from saying goodbye. I have friends that are in the states at home with their families right now. As amazing as that is, I haven’t realized that they are gone yet. I was supposed to be with them. I’m not regretting my decision to stay; I just am having a hard time internalizing the change. There have been a lot of goodbyes.
On a lighter note, yesterday I got to spend time downtown with my friends Rossella and Giulia. They are two of the Italian girls I met here to practice language with. We even ran into another Italian friend Martina. We went window shopping and grabbed coffee at Busters {the Starbucks of Torino}. It was so fun to laugh with them. Rossella is preparing me for the teasing of my brother at home. She makes fun of half the things I say! {But secretly I love it!}

After hanging out with them {and saying goodbye…still haven’t realized I won’t see their smiling faces} I got to celebrate my friend Seowon’s birthday. We made a “leftovers” dinner since we are cleaning out the fridge. I can’t wait to make the risotto we had. And I’ll think of my sweet friends when I do. We sang in 2 different languages and even tried to have a lesson in saying “happy birthday” in Korean. Don’t ask me how to say it, I’ve forgotten and totally butchered it when trying.

So it’s been a little bit of a down last couple of days. Lots of change, and change isn’t my favorite.
So now it’s packing and cleaning time…

Finish Well

Tomorrow is the day of exodus…well that’s what my nickname is for the 21st of December. Here in the land of study abroad students it is the day that most are getting on a plane and heading back to the States. I would be too, but to break the big news…I changed my flight. So I’m not leaving with the masses.
I just finished up school here in Italy. That’s right, that thing that I was coming here to do. It’s done. Over. Finished. The last paper turned in and the last tests taken. To be honest it means that I am exhausted from studying, my brain feels fried and I don’t really know what to do with myself.
I want to share a little more about this weekend before I forget…
Saturday was a day in Milan. Well for a few hours at least! We went and saw the duomo (the big cathedral). We ended up just walking through Milan and enjoying a different city. Milan is livable. It’s almost American-like which was odd for me. And the people! They are everywhere! I think I am now prepared for New York City.

Leonardo Da Vinci walking to the Duomo

I people watched. This cute kids was chasing pigeons.

I was waiting for the other girls at one point and went looking for a bathroom. I walked into the Burger King {yes they have fast food restaurants here…so odd for me!} and hit a wall of people. Then I had to walk down 3 flights of stairs. Yes down into the basement. The line was so long for the busy bathroom. There was a man that was there trying to clean the bathroom so he literally stood there and cleaned when space became available. And then I had to finds my way out! Who knew that finding a restroom could be so complicated?

We saw the castle in Milan, which was bigger than I was expecting. It was really funny because when you think of Milan it is usually because it is a fashion icon of the world, not for its medieval castle!

the arch out the back

There was a Christmas market going on at the train station. It was fun to walk and see what everyone was selling. Christmas markets while they sell items often sell food of the season as well. This one had an abundance of food items and not so many gift items.

We headed back to Torino and not too long after that I went to a potluck dinner at a friend’s place. Picture taking, foods of all origins were eaten, and good byes were avoided. Saturday was the day of student good byes, there was big get together at a club downtown. I went and hung out with friends and more pictures and avoiding goodbyes ensued.

the dinner group photo

Sunday I went to my last church service in Torino. It was such a joy! I spent time meeting new people and saying goodbye to new/old friends. I pray that I can come back and enjoy this community. I have some new friends that I can’t wait to write to and share life with. I walked away {2 hours after I thought I would leave!} feeling refreshed and so thankful!
I then headed to the local pub to watch the calico {soccer} game! We won!!! I didn’t realize how much I miss watching sports, and yes, I love watching soccer. Then it was time to do some studying, so my friend Vickie and I found a café that was extremely expensive {we were in classy part of town though…} and we studied away.
For dinner Robyn and I headed across the street to a pizzeria that is so yummy! We had delicious pizzas. I got the same pizza as I got the last time that we were there. There is just something about Italian ricotta on pizza!

those snow covered tops are the Alps!

There you have my last weekend in Torino. I was a little busy, could you tell?
This experience has been so truly unique. There are new discoveries around every corner {and on every bus as I found out Saturday night!} I can’t wait to share the rest of my adventures with you!